I know I’ve talked about stress and the effect it has on Lyme disease. My past few posts are really all linked together. I definitely have over come a lot of the typical symptoms and now I’m tackling the hard ones. The mental ones.
For these symptoms i don’t fully realize what’s happening until I’ve over done it and hit bottom. The depression and anxiety that comes along with Lyme disease are real. They are hard to realize when you’re so used to them. Recently I had some medical problems that I didn’t think we’re related to Lyme disease. It turned out that the mental part of the Lyme disease started having an effect on my body is ways I didn’t think could happen.
The other day I was at work and I caught myself thinking all these negative thoughts and feeling myself slip into that bad pattern of negativity and it all clicked. I literally stopped what I was doing and thought what am I doing to myself? I knew how to make myself feel better and the reason why I was struggling with my health and yet I let the stress and anxiety continue.
Something I haven’t done in a long time that truly helps is making mental lists of gratitude. Things that make me successful, things that make me a good person, things that make me good enough. I point out to myself that things happen for a reason and everything will make sense sooner or later.
This helps with my stress and let me tell you I can tell the difference when I choose not to give in to the stress and anxiety. Half the battle with sickness is mental.
This week has been a hard one for many reasons. It felt as if the world was just too much to handle. I felt things falling apart. The stress brought out the Lyme pain in full force.
I hadn’t felt such physical pain in months. It’s frustrating when you think your body is recovering great and the next day your slapped with reality that yes, you still have Lyme disease.
And literally 5 minutes ago I came across the quote picture up top. Be Free. It’s a choice. I can either continue to sit in bed and think about all the bad things in life or I can stare them down and say, yeah things suck sometimes but what can you do. You can’t control anything in life. So you might as well be free of it all and not worry.
So if you’re familiar with Lyme Disease I’m sure you can write a book about the problems associated with Lyme disease. I know I have a laundry list that I can spout off right now if I really wanted too.
My #1 frustration with this disease is the lost feeling of being 100% healthy. If it isn’t fatigue its pain. It’s either a co-infection or memory fog. Its depression or anxiety.
Does anyone else forget the feeling of being 100% ok?! It hit me one day at work when people were calling out because they didn’t feel 100% themselves. They could feel a cold coming on so they took the day off and came back feeling 100% better. I asked myself where is the line where I feel ok to take off from work? I never know because I’m never feeling 100% healthy.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking “maybe I am making this all up” but then I have to shake myself and say there was a time when your health was the last thing on your mind! There was a time when you felt 100% healthy and never thought anything of is this pain Lyme related or is this actually the flu?
Does anyone else have this frustration?
Merry Christmas! I hope everyone is enjoying their holidays! I made a point of trying my best not to be stressed this season and I can say I truly had an enjoyable today. Here’s a quick peak at my morning.
Here is my cat max enjoying all the ribbon and bows.
I’m a big believer in “signs”. I ask for them all the time and sometimes I even realize when one comes to me. Lately all I’ve been seeing are “ways to be motivated” “motivation is the key to success” blah blah blah. So I’m taking this as a sign to get my butt back into the real world. Mind you, I actually participate in the real world (semi active social life, going to work, etc) but some of the time I barely even know what day it is. I’m stuck in the motions of life and not even living it.
I’ve been feeling pretty good lately. 2013 hasn’t been my best year by far yet I think I’m finally pulling myself together in the last few days of the year. Things I never expected to happen have been happening and the constant reminder from the universe to keep moving forward is always there daily. I have goals set and things I want to happen. I know that most of these things I can make happen myself. I just need to push myself to make them happen. This is the first step. I’ve been saying to myself “I need to start blogging again. I have these ideas and just can’t bring myself to post them.” Well here I am back at it. Sometimes I just need a push from the universe and some good signs to get motivated.
I’ve been really bad with keeping up with this blog. I can say however, my health has definitely been a number one priority in my absence. I’ve been dabbling in Yin Yoga. I’ve also been using stretching routines several times a week.
I think my problem lately has been the fatigue and muscle soreness. Joint pain has been in the elbows and hands occasionally. This has been great improvement. For a while I was in pain constantly. Over the summer I thought I was actually making improvement only to have fall come around and be back at square one. This I believe was mostly due to excess stress and me at the brink of just giving up finding a successful treatment.
For the past month I’ve been diligent with my vitamin routine. (I think I’ve mentioned it briefly in the past. I have since updated my regiment) The newest thing I’m trying out is a muscle roller. I’ve used the muscle rolling stick when I was running competitively. I just bought a bigger one meant for the back as well. Its painful but let me tell you, I feel so much lighter after I’ve used it. Its great when I’ll use it on my back and then I can tell I’m working out a big knot when I’ll feel the tell tale sign of pins and needles in my arms.
It’s been one year since I first posted on this blog! It’s amazing how fast and how much can change in one year. I was in such a different place this time last year.
Lyme disease was new and overwhelming to me. Although some days are still overwhelming, the ways I deal with them have changed. I’ve come to learn Lyme disease is not only physical but a mental game. It’s reflected throughout this blog.
If I’ve learned one thing over this past year it is that you and only you are capable of truly healing yourself. Yes it’s good to have a smart doctor and a support team. Through my personal journey, those doctors and support people have come and gone. What’s left is me and my attitude and those truly guide me towards good days.
I hope my blog has helped someone out there. I know it’s helped me to record this process and allows me to revisit things that work and those that don’t work for my lyme journey.